Sharon Maria Bidwell

The other day I read a blog questioning the right of women to write gay (or what is known as m/m) romance. The author of the blog wasn’t objecting personally, just commenting on what others had said on the net. It made me stop and think. In fact, it’s made me ponder the idea on and off over the weekend and for me, that’s a long time to ponder anything.

Am I doing something wrong? Am I encroaching into an area where I have no business poking my nose? But then do I even consider myself to be a m/m romance writer?

There’s no easy answer to these questions. I guess a writer’s motives apply here. I never actively intended to write m/m romances. I simply had an idea that nagged me to write it. I also remained 99% convinced the publisher I had in mind would take it. I wrote it without any idea of where I would go from there. That may sound naive but for me the story always dictates. I always say I write as I read, meaning anything and everything, simply because it’s true. I’m not a writer that likes to be pigeonholed, and yet, this is exactly where I risk finding myself. Not that I think being a m/m romance writer is exactly a bad place to be. However I came to be here, I’m very happy, thank you very much. Hell, it’s fun. It’s hard work and frustrating as all get out at times, but it’s also fun. I find that putting together a same sex story allows for greater plot conflict and the modern romance market allows a writer to come up with wild and seemingly crazy stories that seem to suit my psyche just fine. This is one genre where I can write any sub-genre that I like. Yes, there’s a romantic element but I can choose the story to be contemporary, fantasy, science-fiction…you name it and as long as I’m capable of writing it, there will likely be a publisher willing to take it and readers clamouring for it.

Firstly, let’s address this issue of m/m romance. Not all writers are happy to adopt this term. Please don’t sneer at its use; it’s a phrase coined by the industry and many of us use it because it’s the market in which we’ll find the majority of readers — most of them being straight women. Some authors call themselves writers of gay literature because they want to appeal to a gay male audience. I’ve already told you I read anything and everything, so I’ve read a fair amount of stories written by and primarily for gay men. I didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong reading work by these writers so am I wrong writing such material? Should a moral law stand that I have to be a gay man to write about one? Well, I’ve just written my first f/f and I’m not a lesbian, and none of the lesbians I know seem to object.

Lesbians also write m/m romance and so do gay men, or transsexuals etc. The male or female name is no indication these days. Indeed, most write under a pen-name in order to protect their families, or so those at work never find out what they do. They live in fear of ridicule (or worse) or simply don’t wish to face any hassle should someone in their day-to-day lives find out, and I feel it’s a pity that in some cases such protection is necessary. Others wish to set their own persona, something apart from their everyday lives and that, at least, is a much nicer reason. I have the privileged position of not having to care what anyone thinks of me and as a gay friend said to me, “Put your own name on the book. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.” He was speaking from personal experience and perhaps from knowing me but I took his advice.

To be honest, I’m not sure I even consider myself to be a romance writer. I write some very peculiar stories at times, especially for the small press short story market. I’ve written horrid little twists in the tales to the surreal but, I admit, my longer works to date have neatly been clubbed together under the tidy umbrella of romance.

I want to take a moment to look at just what I’ve written to date:

Uly’s Comet was my first novel and is now a trilogy. It’s a m/m romance and even m/m/m romance, but it’s also a full-fledged fantasy. It’s explicit to suit the market but unless that offends I feel any gay man who likes a fantasy read would be able to enjoy it. Okay, it has a couple of m/f scenes but the Swithin are a race who freely take lovers of either sex. This was my way of saying let people love whom they want to love. Oddly, while this book is aimed at a female readership, I’ve encountered more women that object to a ménage aspect in a story than gay men (although m/m/f has a large following among women). Many men have a different take on sex than women do. That doesn’t mean a man — straight or gay — can’t be faithful if he chooses but as I recently heard a gay actor say ’sex is often external for men’. So a gay audience might not find much in my book to object to and they would get an adventure into the bargain.

I then wrote “Rose Light” a m/f short work that is a dark erotic take on an old fairy tale. This was swiftly followed by a m/m contemporary that is a romance but it’s also about angst. It’s about having to view yourself in a way that you never expected, and having to make a huge life-altering decision. It’s about having to put up with criticism and disbelief even after you’ve made your choice. I’m waiting for someone to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about but the gay men who have read “Snow Angel” so far have told me they are amazed how accurately I wrote the anguish and the love scenes.

I’ve written a m/m comical short called “Space, Man”, and a m/m paranormal about a shape-shifter called “A Slow Fuzzy Screw”. Soon out will be two m/m/f menages — one paranormal, one science-fiction, and as I’ve said above, I’ve written a f/f. (Please excuse all these letters. I know it ends up twisting the tongue and sounding like some sort of Morse code).

Fine, I admit there’s a lot of male pairings in there but it’s by no means the only thing I write and although I have more m/m romances in mind, I also have other ideas. I have a m/f story to finish…so am I writing about m/m romances or am I just writing about situations and what people in love might do under those circumstances? And if I’m writing a full story, might not gay men enjoy at least some of these works?

As a straight woman might I not find it annoying if every contemporary, science fiction, fantasy, or crime story I picked up only ever showed two men or two women falling in love? As a gay man or a lesbian wouldn’t it be within my rights to moan that all stories only ever portrayed straight couples? So are women encroaching into an area where they’re just not wanted, or are some of them trying to write something that gay men can also enjoy? I was delighted when I thought of Uly’s Comet because I knew a gay friend would finally be able to read something of mine that he could enjoy on a personal level. Whatever anyone thinks of my decision, my intentions were and always shall remain good. However, I’m not a gay man so how can I know what it’s like to be one and how can I write about one? Well, I’m not a stalker/killer either, but I’ve written stories about those. If you’re going to use that logic than surely a gay writer would need to pepper a novel with nothing but gay characters. If you’re not straight how can you write about heterosexuals? See how that logic works?

Does that mean that men should rush out and start reading these romances? It really depends on what type of read they are looking for and I would advise them to choose carefully and don’t be put off by one bad read or even several. There are all types of novels out there. I have to confess I’ve read some m/m romances that are so overly sugary sweet as to rot your teeth but the same has applied to the romance market for a great many years and not all of those books are loved by women. Some women can’t stand lovey dovey romances any more than most men can and not all so-called romances entirely fit that category alone. I do not write fluffy. I do not write sweet. If I write a gay fantasy, I hope to give the reader a fantasy with a romantic touch, with a heart-pounding love scene (explicit or not) and something that anyone but those who are homophobic in the extreme could enjoy for the storyline.

I’d love to hear what gay men want to read as I can’t help thinking there are many writers out there eager to deliver.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm and is filed under Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.