Public or Private?
Life in General, Writing|I’ve seen a few references to this recently so it seemed a good topic. When should a writer (or anyone in the media) keep their beliefs private and when should they make them public?
Not all of us share the same beliefs. Personally, I’m glad of this. Not only would it make for a boring world but imagine if we all believed something horrible, such as cruelty to children or animals was okay and the fate of the planet wasn’t our concern. Strong beliefs make us stand up, speak openly, defend and protect those who cannot stand up and speak for themselves. Standing up for one’s beliefs can lead to changes for the better. Differences of opinion lead to breakthroughs.
Alas, the sad, simple fact is that not of us can agree to disagree. That’s why the advice to be ‘careful’ what you state publicly can be perfectly understandable. They say you should never discuss sex, religion and politics…considering what I write there’s at least one of those topics that’s unavoidable but that doesn’t mean I have to let the general public into my private life. Besides, what do you want to know? I’m a normal person just like my readers. I crawl out of bed in the morning, brush my teeth, stumble into the kitchen in search of that first coffee. I also wash clothes, clean the house, cook, shop…have friends and family. In addition, I make mistakes, apologies, laugh, cry, get sick, heal, and hurt, for myself and for others.
There are some things that are unavoidable. I can hardly write same sex romance without declaring that I believe people should be free to love whom their heart tells them to love and that I don’t believe it’s a ‘choice’ but the way someone is born. You only have to read my work to know that. I realise there are people out there who will vehemently disagree with me and may even hate me for it. All I can say is that there is more than one element to my personality. I feel a view that dictates that because our beliefs differ we cannot be friends is short-sighted.
Do I agree with all the things my friends believe in? Do I agree with all their decisions? No, of course I don’t. I have friends who are clearly homophobic and rather than attack them for this, if they wished to discuss the topic I would hope we could do so sensible and intelligently. I would like to know why they feel the way they do, and I would be quite open to explaining my own viewpoint. Ultimately, they are entitled to their beliefs. I don’t expect all my friends to like each other but I do expect all of them to respect they ‘are’ all my friends and be civil should they ever meet, especially if it’s under my roof. I don’t believe to like another person you both have to share the exact same sexual, religious or political belief. I’m quite capable of agreeing to disagree and that’s one thing I wish was more widespread.
Of course, there are limits. I admit that. There are some things in this world I couldn’t tolerate but they are usually in extremes and no one should want someone around who feels certain forms of abuse is fine but I’m not talking about that level of animosity. I’m a different person to you. If we all wanted to love thyself to this extent there’d be no reason to ever say hello to another human being.
Therefore, don’t assume that because I’m friends with someone in my private life, on myspace, or elsewhere, is someone I share beliefs with. Neither should you assume that all the viewpoints in the stories I write are my personal viewpoint. One aspect of a writer’s job is to show all sides of the argument, without getting into a public, personal disagreement. Love or loathe one aspect of my personality, let’s get over it and let’s be friends.
