Genre: Fact, Article (R-18)

mmsymbol

M/M Symbols (why write m/m romance)

by Sharon Maria Bidwell

I originally wrote this article on m/m romance for Forbidden Fruit Zine.

So why do you write this magical stuff?

The question deserved an answer though what caught my attention was the person asking was female and had used the word magical. Alas, my reply lacked impetus. I had stumbled into it mostly by accident rather than intent. However, one thing stood out in my mind. Writing my book had been fun. Hard work, certainly, but fun. I had fallen in love with this world and these characters and from the response, I could surmise this applied to everyone who encountered them and it had little or nothing to do with sexuality.

So how did the book come into being? Simply put, I had an idea. It turned out to be one of those ideas that many writers consider a blessing. One that taps you on the shoulder when you’re not looking, stays with you, bugs you, whispers in your ear, and then starts howling when you try to ignore it.

The success of the book was also due to timing. I had read writers such as Angela Knight and Mary Janice Davidson. They led me to stumble across others too many to mention. I discovered erotic romances for women were selling and that many of these publishers allowed their authors to let their imaginations take them where it wanted to fly. I loved the concept and wanted to join them. My idea had found its perfect mate in the perfect market.

So what makes an erotic romance as opposed to a romance that just has sex in it? Authors and readers debate this constantly. It’s the age-old question: art versus porn and in many instances, you will know it when you see it. Drawings, paintings, sculpture, we generally see as artistic, but this can apply equally to photographs. It is in the pose, the intent, and the skill of the artist. The same applies to the written word. I can only tell you what the definition of an erotic romance means to me. The sex has to be essential to the story. It has to move the plot, integrated, progressive. It doesn’t matter if the story is a sweet tale of two people meeting or a high adventure. If you can remove the sex from the story and still have a story, then the sex didn’t belong there to begin with. Even worse, if the majority of your readers aren’t interested in the story and skip lines to get to the ‘good bits’ then you have done both yourself and them a disservice.

This all started with a vision of a man sitting on a bench in open parkland and a thief about to steal his purse. At the time, I had no idea who the man was or why he sat there. I had no idea as to the identity of the thief. Later, I came across a name: Shavar, ‘Comet’ and as is so often the case, bam, I found my story. That still leaves the question of why I made this largely a same sex story.

In my mind, there was no uncertainty. I envisioned a race that freely took lovers of either sex. This also gave the story an additional concept. If I had made the thief female, a similar story could have applied, but it would have contained less conflict, less tension, less story. That was not only somewhat boring it certainly wouldn’t have opened up new pathways I could explore for future instalments.

Why, though, would I consider writing more stories along these lines? When your publisher expresses such an interest, you don’t turn your back. When readers add their voice to the clamour you greet them with a smile and count your blessings. Yes, m/m romances do well! Strange then that not so long ago many shook their head in refusal or disbelief because they claimed ‘there was no market for this sort of work’. All this may sound like I am trying to fashion an excuse. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I offer no excuses, no apologies.

As a writer, the subject has opened up a wealth of ideas. As a reader, I have read and enjoyed stories with this theme for years. Consider writers such as Anne Rice, Laurell K.Hamilton and even Carol Berg. Whether she intended it or not, Carol Berg’s book “Transformation” is a story of a master and his slave and yet the underlying possibility for a relationship is there even if she chose not to follow it. That is not my opinion but that of her audience. I decided to explore this more fully.

The simple question of why straight women write or read this type of literature brought forth some answers, most of which were completely unexpected. Some women could only reply that they found it arousing. That may be true but it begs the question of ‘why’. Some regularly read these works without finding it stirring. Others say it stirs their emotions only.

Most apparent is that if there are any women out there feeling awkward regarding their choice, they can rest assured they are not alone in their appreciation. I had already noted that most of these books had men who might well share intimacy with other men (sexual or otherwise) but they can be as soft or butch (I hesitate to say hard!) as the writer dictates and the reader desires. They could be gentle souls, gazing out a cruel world or have an in ‘your face, don’t mess with me or someone I love, or you’ll be sorry’ attitude. So why do women read this ‘magical’ stuff?

The answers came thick and fast. Some women felt drawn to it from watching series such as Queer as Folk. In this, they often celebrated the skill of the writer. The drama drew them in as well as the characters and the obvious display of men letting go when it came to sex. Some had a favourite film star growing up who had come out of the proverbial closet later in life. Some had seen a film with a scene that affected them. Antonio Banderas seems to have something to answer for, for his ‘Pedro Almodovar’ films and Interview with a Vampire. Yet could you think of a more confident, secure image of a man. Male/male fan fic, slash art and yaoi all have their influence.

Still the reasons kept coming. Angst-ridden males seem to do well in female fiction. Although they like a happy conclusion, they don’t mind seeing their heroes suffer to get there. Some writers like to put their male characters into as sticky a situation as possible and watch them squirm, and their readers roll over in ecstasy with them. For some women, they are simply eliminating the sex that doesn’t interest them (although lesbians also read, and write, m/m books). Equally, they may enjoy male/female stories. Primarily though, they want to think about ‘men’ and it seems peculiar that in an age where men often watch girl-on-girl action and find that perfectly acceptable, they can act so negatively at the idea of males. Even if you’re not interested, why let it bother you? In this, some women write or leave these books lying around just to ‘get their own back’ on the straight guys out there. Some have gay family members or friends; they started out in this line because they wanted to write something for them.

The concept allows writers to go where they might not otherwise be able to, whether that is a character’s psyche or a representation of a physical here-to ‘male-dominated’ arena. They can also explore what some would consider ‘tasteless’ subjects if applied to female characters. It creates a new dynamic. Some see the latest female warrior type portrayed as asexual. She has to be tough and unfeeling to compete with the men. Women can be tough and still ‘feel’. They wish to equalise the playing field and create men who get as emotional and as hot and bothered as them.

I would like to add that since originally writing this, other answers caught my attention as to why women read m/m stories. One of the blunter ones was more than one woman admitting a liking for anal sex. They had suffered negative, even borderline abusive reactions from other women they had admitted this to, and so turned to a gay man for commonality. One remark I particularly identified with was that many m/f romances use certain terminology, particularly concerning a woman’s anatomy that just turn some women off. Some stories also possess an inequality. As with porn, some works depict the woman in terms of what is ‘being done’ to her. Make both characters the same sex and this can change the energy of the story.

There are women who have experienced negative relationships with a male member of the family. Possibly, they had a stern, unapproachable father, or one that couldn’t be present enough. In a world where women can be more openly caring — and I don’t mean lesbians, but women generally will freely kiss and hug each other hello and goodbye — to see one man caring for another can have a deep emotional affect, particularly if the man is straight because that shows he’s secure enough not to care what others are thinking.

One of my personal favourites is that some believe that if one man is good, two is better. They see it as an opportunity to envision men doing what they do best! They want men raw, hot, sweaty, sexy, capable of tears and able to bestow tender kisses. I can hear some men crying out, “They’re asking too much!” Maybe that’s why women are inventing them.

Ultimately, though, they seem to agree on one thing. They want great plots, engrossing characters, and good writing. As for what I intend to write in future, I ‘intend’ to write as I always have, bridging genres, wherever my imagination takes me and my readers wish me to go. Just remember, whatever you’re writing, create your characters with care and with regards to your hero, make him suffer, make him hurt, then pick him up and cuddle him.

*****

Click here to return to main list.

© Sharon Maria Bidwell, all rights reserved.