Let’s not mention the P word

You know — the ‘P’ word. The one that rhymes with horn and tends to send warning bots into overdrive. There’s an age long argument, one I suspect will last for eternity: what constitutes erotica vs the word we dare not mention?

Of course, these days these two definitions are too limiting. There’s P***; there’s Erotica; there’s also Erotic Romance and simply Romance. Even some works listed in the most innocent category of this genre: romance, aren’t what they used to be. Gone are the days when romance publishers stop at a closed bedroom door. Those that do tend to have labels such as ‘sweet’ romance, possibly aimed at the faint of heart.

The simplest definition that most will give out is that Erotica, Erotic Romance and Romance has a story — that ‘other stuff’ does not. Others will argue that a sex scene is there to titillate and therefore arrive at the same conclusion, and that there is no difference at all. My definition is simply whether the sex in a story serves a purpose. Something has to be happening ‘to’ the characters during the sex that the reader needs to be privilege to, even if it is something as simple as an emotional letting go that fuels the plot in some way.

During the AMP debacle something occurred to which at the time I made no reference. A newspaper in the publisher’s hometown labelled the authors as ‘local p*** writers’. Not only were the writers NOT local, but international, it also came as something of a shock to those who had written sci-fi or thrillers, some containing no sex scenes or reference to sex at all. Yep, folks — AMP published much more than erotic romance, but naturally those were the titles the newspaper jumped on with delight. When defending their controversial headline, which they said the reporter in question ‘did not’ write, among the titles they threw up as evidence was my ‘Virgin Special’.

While said ‘news’ paper admitted not having read these titles cover to cover, their argument was that such titles were “designed to appeal to readers looking for graphic and prolific sexual content.” They then suggested their report could have been more complete had ‘sources’ agreed to comment and not been hesitant for fear of reprisal from the publisher.

Another error on their part: the reason the writers did not wish to comment was to protect the family of said publisher in the local area where they live, and precisely because this is what happens when one talks to some members of the media. One only has to look at what is happening in the British news and the current investigation into behaviour of certain newspapers to see perfect examples of sleazy reporting at its best.

The true irony was that the headline put in place by this Colorado newspaper was designed to do exactly what they were accusing the writers of doing with the titles of their books — catch readers attention. Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but isn’t that what any title is intended to do? There are examples of sexy sounding books in mainstream publishing that are far removed from the subject, and I don’t see anyone accusing those authors of being something they’re not.

As for my book, does it contain sex? Yes, for which I make no apologies. But sex does not equal ‘P***’ and I’m tired of those ignorant enough to think that it does. The book also deals with grief — maybe not to the extent I could have taken it, but as it’s now open to a rewrite maybe I can fledge it out beyond the restrictions for the series I was writing it for. The title — and idea — came from the name of a cocktail. It was part of a series where all the titles were based on the names of cocktails.

My ‘virgin’ is a man who never got to sleep with his beloved because they had decided to wait, and she died before they married. His attempt to commit suicide is thwarted by some rather supernatural means where he encounters a couple who happen to be vampires, who have also lost someone they loved. The question of the book is whether they can heal together or face death together — two walking into the sun, one into the sea. Readers always contacted me to say how they ached for their grief. Reviewers stated how they would have been happy with either outcome. A romance that ends in death? To have even one reader say they would be happy with that is some feat. To my knowledge not one reader or reviewer said anything about how ‘titillated’ they were. They wrote to me mentioning how I had affected their emotions.

This is part of one of the reviews:

…and so begins the psychological drama that is … Virgin Special. Hannah and Seth take over James’ care and try to tempt him back to the land of the living. Some readers might be non-plussed by the manner in which they do so, but Hannah and Seth are vampires fighting for the will to survive and James is their only hope. How do you convince someone who’s lost the very meaning of his life to live again? Through thoughtful conversations, simple board games and shared pain, Hannah and Seth attempt to do just that, but James doesn’t make it easy for them. He resists their overtures at every turn and is determined to hold on to his grief at any cost. Bidwell deserves kudos for elevating an erotic, menage vampire tale to such a cerebral level that I wasn’t sure how the story would end. The characterizations are particularly strong in Virgin Special. Bidwell gives the reader a lot of background on each person, with plenty of vivid flashbacks so that their motivations are crystal clear. This is a good thing because the heart-stopping ending pays off handsomely. I would have been okay with either outcome.

Sounds terribly ‘p***like’ doesn’t it! Things are not always what they seem. Even many of the romance writers who edge into or write outright BDSM are truly writing about psychology. Read a BDSM book where the writer hasn’t got the psychology of the relationship right and it doesn’t matter how good the sex is, the book will feel ‘off’ even if one can’t quite figure out why.

Once I stopped laughing, I realised the true paradox — two companion m/m romances I’m working on feature an unscrupulous reporter. Making readers sympathetic to him is precisely why this particularly book is somewhat difficult. Now I truly understand why I’m struggling.