Writer of Dark and Light Fiction. Fact, fiction, poetry, short stories, articles and novels. Cross-genre, slipstream, non-traditional romance, gothic, horror, fantasy and more... Visit this diverse writer's site.

A Writing Process Blog Tour

Around this time two years ago, I was nominated for a blog tour without my knowing. I can trust my co-writer and editor, Andy Frankham Allen, to not tell me. I guess he counted on me reading his blog… and it appears he was right. This was my entry, which I reproduce here with updated footnotes. Two years. This was TWO YEARS ago. How the time has flown.

Q1 What are you currently working on?

Not as easy to answer as it should be. I’ve recently finished one lot of edits for a steampunk work and had decided to write a third in a published series of romance titles only to realise a need to edit books one and two as I reread them. That turned into a total exercise of shock mixed with the delight of seeing how well I’ve improved in five or six short years. And while I did that, edits for another book arrived. I’ve just returned the first round but don’t expect it will be long before the second arrives (there’s usually two before line edits etc), so I’m sort of jumping about at present. Interruptions and having to hop between works is one thing I never accounted for.

UPDATE: The romances I mention I’m only now finishing up. Personal problems and a necessary move cause a good deal of interruption. Book one has this week been contracted and the trilogy will be on the way.

Q2 How does my work differ from others in my genre?

A genre is a bit of a painful topic for me. I’ve been calling myself a multi-genre writer, but I realise that’s not an easy achievement. Readers will seldom follow a writer through multiple genres — a fact that had never occurred to me. Yes, I know, naïve, but then I’m a reader who will stick with writers I love no matter what they do. I’ll at least give all their works a try, and I read so widely it seems strange to think there are people who read a single genre. I cannot imagine life without reading at least two or three different stories. I always say I write as I read, meaning anything and everything. While this is true, branding is everything these days, so lately I’ve been giving serious consideration to what I do.

I hit on the romance/erotic romance market mostly by accident rather than intent and I tend to call this side of my writing ‘non-traditional’ romance in that I’ve written a large portion of gay or ‘m/m’ titles, also menage, and those in themselves have ranged from contemporary, comedy, horror, science fiction, and fantasy. I want to have a serious try at writing a hetero romance, but I’m sure it will have a paranormal setting, so I say ‘non-traditional’ to explain that I write a range of pairings and sub-genres.

Of my non-romance work… again, it varies, but I realise that many of my stories seem to contain a dark thread. I’ve a short story Bitter and Intoxicating in the anthology Red Velvet and Absinthe (edited by Mitzi Szereto, foreword by Kelley Armstrong) which is a perfect example of this. It’s erotic gothic romance with more than a touch of horror. My one and only short story available at Untreed Reads called The Texture of Winter is impossible to describe. It’s about loss and pain and the end of life, and yet I feel the tale has a bittersweet quality. Both stories are unusual and yet both contain a dark thread. I kind of pride myself in being able to write almost any genre, but I’m currently trying to pin down what I most want to focus on, so I recently re-branded my site and myself as a ‘writer of dark and light fiction’, which at least seems to cover all possibilities. When I get a little ‘breathing space’ I plan to write a novel with that dark side in mind, think ‘outside the box’ to see where it leads me.

UPDATE: I subsequently divided my romance and darker work and have a pen-name for what I now call Dark Fiction.

Q3 Why do I write what I do?

An innate love of books, of stories, of story-telling. Books have been companions throughout my life. They seldom let me down. They’re a way to explore life. To live and experience other lives, to be someone you are not. They’re time machines, both into the past and the future. Stories are for enjoyment and exploration. They can teach or simply hold the reader’s hand through good and bad times. I’d love to make a living at writing, but realistically so few writers do. Many writers write because they simply don’t know how not to. It’s a driving force. I’ve referred to it as akin to breathing.

Q4 How does my writing process work?

I’m not sure. Every project feels different, and the process isn’t always the same. I call myself a pantser — a term in writing circles to mean fly by the seat of. Andy is mostly a plotter. When we co-authored a book together, I found it a little exhausting, and it wasn’t just because we were stepping in at short notice and had limited time. Andy is fast, and he tends to know exactly where he wants to go. I can be fast, but not always, and not when plotting. Writing with someone else requires a certain amount of plotting to be inevitable, but I seldom know where I’m going, so following any kind of pattern felt alien to me. I may start a work based on an opening scene that’s come to me. I may have an idea where I want my characters to end up, but not have a clue how they’re going to get there. On rare occasions I’ll know the end, but nothing or not much leading up to it. I have written things based on nothing more than a title or a handful of words given to me. Characters may come to me without a story, or I’ll connect two random events and realise there’s a plot hiding there. I really cannot explain how my ideas form because it can happen in many ways.

The writing process itself can also differ. I usually write from beginning to end, as if I were reading a story. Occasionally I’ll write random scenes or jump a few scenes ahead and then connect them, sort of in the way they produce a film. The writing can come easily or take forever. It’s a wonderful feeling when it’s flowing; other times… I can only say there’s a good reason writers refer to it as proverbially pulling teeth. When the writing drags, it drags big time, yet I can’t base how good the writing is on how easily the work flows. Sometimes it feels as if a story wrote itself and poured out of me; other times I’ve had to wrench out every word, but in neither case does that tell me a thing about the quality of what I’ve produced until I shelve it for a while and come to the edit. That’s the one thing about my process — I like to shelve work before I do an edit. I may edit a little as I go, I may read over the previous day’s work to get me back into the story and tweak it, but before I do a first major edit, I prefer to let work sit a minimum of two weeks, preferably two to three months or even longer.

Q5 What’s new from you?

I’ve a short story called The Night Train in a magazine, Night to Dawn, and I’ve recently finished The Draco Eye a steampunk work for Space 1889, so that’s likely to be the next available longer work from me. The intrepid crew of Sovereign are heading for Jupiter and find the most fantastical creature yet… which the amazing cover reveals.

Coming next… current edits are on a book tentatively entitled Going Nowhere — a title that will probably end up changed owing to the publisher’s list of titles already in use. This is a gay erotic romance paranormal detective type thing that will be available from Loose id though I don’t have a release date yet. Who said a writer can’t mix things up?

UPDATE: Going Nowhere ended up releasing as Wildest Dreams.

Love of the Written Word

I’m here to discuss a friend’s point of view — one that hadn’t occurred to me. I’m going to wander a bit because I’m also talking books, but it all translates to love for the written word.

Some people appreciate e-books, some don’t. Some hate the term ‘e-book’ and I take the argument on board. A ‘book’ is a bound set of pages. We might more accurately call the electronic file of a book an e-novel or e-story because I don’t believe the presentation affects the content.

The narrative ‘exists’ the moment the author penned, typed, or dictated the words. When one used typewriters or even quills and ink, the method didn’t make the yarn exist any less. Although by no definition could hand written or typed pages be called ‘books’, I would take them over the existence of nothing. A story exists regardless of presentation.

I’m not against electronic files, but I still love paper; always will. I admit there’s nothing like a physical book one can hold. It’s nostalgic. If a gift, we may recollect when we opened a brightly wrapped package, the second we first saw what was inside, felt a fission of pleasure, and spare a moment’s thought for the person who gifted it.

An electronic file, mostly, lacks the personal touch. An old book even deteriorated… Well, those creases in the spine and cover could have developed over many years of handling and love. I don’t see a scruffy volume as one discarded or ill-used.

Also, for someone like me who spends a great deal of time in front of computer screens, then the printed page is a departure from our world that thrives so heavily on electronics. I find room for both formats simply owing to practicality. I write e-books and would be a total hypocrite to say I loathe them. Far from it. Sure, I would adore the library the Beast gave to Beauty in the Disney film. Push my bed and a chair and desk into the middle. I’ll be fine — but I’ve yet to stumble across any enchanted castles even if I’ve found my Prince Charming.

I love many types of books, from the classics to children’s stories, fantasy and horror, some romances. I can be fussy about my romantic tales more than any genre, but they stand alongside all the other genres I cherish. To call my collection eclectic is an understatement. Unfortunately, I simply don’t have room for all the books I want to own — I will never live long enough to read them all even if I had said library.

My key problem is I’m one of those readers who struggles to part with titles, especially if I enjoyed them. I’ve relatives and friends who don’t understand this. They feel a book read, or a film seen, they’ve finished with. The story told, the reader/viewer knows what will happen, so why read/watch repeatedly?

I comprehend the point but disagree. A much-loved experience can be enjoyed more than once and often one can miss things on a first pass the same way an author can during the creation process. Among my many ‘wants’ is a desire to own an entire library of classics. I’ve an abiding affection for them. I’m amazed when I hear someone say they’ve read none of the literary greats. Black Beauty, Heidi, Pride and Prejudice, Gulliver’s Travels, Oliver Twist… all these and more were my childhood reads. I cannot even remember when they first earned the term ‘classics’ — they were simply books, and they were my first adventures. They took me to different worlds and gave me experiences I would never have had otherwise. I experienced these alongside stories like The Water Babies, What Katy Did, Ballet Shoes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and never differentiated.

Now they are looked upon as stuffy and dry, the language outdated. I cannot help feeling that people were better educated, more eloquent and literate when such volumes were picked up at a younger age. I was born when almost all parents read to their kids, where they gave me titles intended for older children; if unable to enjoy them right away, I wanted to. That longing made me strive to learn. If I didn’t know a word, my parent handed me a dictionary and told me to look it up, and yes, I took the time to do so.

So these stories remained with me, ingrained, and the electronic format allowed me to revisit some of these classics lost through moves, through lack of space. They are adventures and memories revisited, and I can keep them in virtual reality. Although I still often buy my favourite authors in print, I branched out and discovered others owing to electronic formats. I am grateful, and I would prefer the world where there wasn’t an argument for or against, but where all can live side by side. In an advanced society, life is about individual choice.

I personified my thinking when speaking with a friend. This person is in his seventies and he recently bought an e-reader… and adores it. His reason is simple — he has struggled to read a book for some time. His eyes aren’t quite as they used to be and there may be other factors in his health, but whatever the cause, he can ‘see’ the words better on his reader as opposed to looking at a printed page. He can also increase the font size if need be, or zoom in. This small device made his whole experience come alive again, and where he had as good as given up on books, or took a long time to struggle through a single novel, he’s reading again… devouring titles, and what I saw in his eyes as he told me all this was joy.

So I’m putting this thought out there for those much against. Maybe e-books and e-readers aren’t for everyone, and for some, they never will be, but I think this proves that it’s pointless to criticise the needs of another person and that none of us can know what we may one day need ourselves. Should there be anyone saying they’d rather give up than commit sacrilege and read electronic books, then I can only think ‘nose, spite, and face’. I could never cease reading.

Strangely, I’ve never heard such venomous disagreements over audio titles, which many people enjoy who aren’t blind and don’t have seeing difficulties. The arguments come from fear — a dread that the production of printed books will one day die out altogether. I understand that emotion well. Without print, this would be a poorer world, but one cannot ignore the increase of electronic formats (although sales have dropped back they’re holding their own) — something I knew would take off long before the first e-reader was even conceived. I foresaw a time before such devices existed, where e-readers and titles intended for them sold alongside things like audio were considered as commonplace, and where — for some — they’re a lifeline. Just as someone brought books into my life to enrich it — in my ‘book’ that makes their existence tolerable and even worthwhile.

Happy Anniversary

Been absent for a couple of weeks, away on holiday to celebrate a special anniversary. Some highlights on what we saw in other blogs but for now I’ll say the holiday was good, never as relaxing and restorative as people hope they will be, but we had an amazing meal on our anniversary in a special restaurant. Another couple we met went the night before, so told the staff it was our anniversary and they decorated the desert plates.

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Mine was the rectangle plate and smaller dessert, a chocolate pudding with sorbet. Best chocolate creation I may have ever tasted. Want the recipe. The husband wondered why they felt he needed to chill. lol

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An Absolute Pleasure

This is going to be my last blog for a couple of weeks because I’m taking a break. I hope to get a work I’ve been editing through its first re-editing phase before the end of the week, and for those who follow my romance titles, I have a new due at the beginning of July. This is more a ‘bye for now’ than an actual blog, but I have an important date to celebrate that will be an ‘absolute pleasure’ for me. We all face milestones in our lives and I have one on the way that’s an achievement.

On that note (forgive the dubious segue), I’m taking a moment to reflect on something else that put a smile on my face in January 2013 (where has the time gone), when my Steampunk adventure — co-authored with Andy Frankham-Allen — Mundus Cerialis: Space 1889 & Beyond was called ‘an absolute pleasure to read’.

You can read the full review by going to The Traveler’s Steampunk Blog.

Stay well, stay happy, and Happy Reading!

Real Publishing, Real Books

An ebook is a book in what may be, for some, an unfamiliar format. This causes the reader to get used to different methods of reading and storing books, but the end product is still that of a story. The writer has other differences to consider between electronic and print markets.

First, there are seldom advances. Some publishers have introduced a small advance but, generally, this is not the case and don’t expect the type of up-front payment as the ‘big six’ might offer if they feel a book has the potential to be a bestseller. To be fair, many mid-stream print publishers aren’t so free with initial payouts. When offered, these prepayments aren’t always as large as they once were and based on several books a publisher ‘expects’ to sell. I’ve heard of enormous advances withdrawn if an acceptable manuscript isn’t delivered and, sometimes, if books simply don’t retail well and meet expectation. Advice is, don’t spend an advance — bank it for a good while.

Print books are often also released electronically now whereas predominately electronic books will not make the shelf in a local bookstore, not unless they eventually go to print, or the shop has the facilities to offer electronic books as part of its ‘stock’. Maybe not even then. Many printed books never make it to local shops, either, and require ordering, but let’s not forget technology is advancing. Predictions are one day a book ‘shop’ may comprise a catalogue and a screen from which to order, the books appearing ‘magically’ as some sort of electronic download or almost instant POD (Print on Demand). While this sounds like science-fiction such scientific applications are being considered and are in development.

The good news for the writer is royalties on ebooks are higher and here’s where the ebook author has a tough choice. Print books are wonderful and many writers will say they long for their titles to be in print. They may read ebooks themselves and love them, but the writer wants to hold their work as something ‘solid’. Touch makes something feel more actual. It may be why many mistakenly conclude the electronic markets aren’t real publishing, while others love being able to cart a library around on a small device that fits into a pocket. In context, there are those who say emails aren’t real letters, but the technology still transfers information effectively.

However, the writer also needs to consider he or she can earn approximately 25, 35 or 50% in royalties from an ebook. From a print book, royalty payments can be as low as 7%. Let that sink in for a minute before I add a writer can earn more in royalties from an ebook, but these titles may not have such a wide distribution, so the potential to sell fewer copies, though this has improved through distributor networks more recently. As more mainstream titles appeared in electronic formats so more companies became distributors same as they would with print, and even printed works can have the problem with limited markets and outlets.

Now we move to why ebooks cost so much. After all, they skip the printing stage. Yes, they do, but this is another matter for those who scorn ebooks to consider. Printing is the ONLY element that the ebook skips. This is a rough guide only based on experience, but consider the levels a story goes through before release.

When submitted to a publisher, the submission goes to a reader. A reader may be an editor at the publishing house or a reader only, but either way, from a synopsis and the first three chapters, a reader will decide whether to ask for the entire manuscript. If the reader likes the draft, they’ll pass it on, discuss it with others in the publishing house, including management, and a team will decide whether to offer a contract. This is especially true if the writer is an unknown name to them. If accepted, they assign an editor, and the work goes through the editing process.

Some publishers allow a writer to work with a single editor for all the work submitted. Sometimes, publishers simply hand the next book scheduled for editing to an available editor. I much prefer building up a relationship with an editor to learn how we both work, and where we can trust each other. This can make for less friction and time wasted. Depending on how much attention the work needs, it may go through one, two, three, or more edit rounds before the line-editing department provides a fresh ‘set of eyes’ to look the story over. This time, they specifically check the book for punctuation errors, house-style etc., and even obvious story problems. When line editors are finished, they return the work to the main editor, who will look at the changes before sending them back to the writer. The writer and editor collaborate and, once happy, send the work to the proofing department. They make a last effort to spot any errors before the book gets formatted* and ready for release. The writer may or may not get to proof the final galley. (*They often leave some formatting to the author, but I’ll not go into that this time.)

While this sounds like a leisurely process, it isn’t. I’ve grown used to “Can we have this yesterday?” It’s often a fraught time. Think of all the effort that goes into this editing procedure. As much as I love my books when I’ve gone through all the revisions I do prior to submitting and all these edits, and considering that I try to re-read at every opportunity, by the time the book is published I’m feeling a little sick of it. Also, keep in mind most writers work part time if not full-time as well as write. Many editors do likewise. Sometimes, so do the publishers. Many companies, except for extremely large publishing houses, run as secondary businesses. Management, editors, line editors, proofers, and the authors all give of their so-called ‘spare’ time — a phrase that quickly becomes an in-house joke. When considering the number of work hours, it makes the financial rewards paltry.

There’s also the cost of cover art. Early on, the writer may be required to submit a cover art request to provide an idea of the book’s subject. Providing the artist with enough details takes considerably more thought than many expect. Some publishing houses ask the writer to ‘okay’ the cover, some don’t. I’ve heard of some authors being extremely upset by their book covers. I’m sure there are good and bad examples in all markets but, so far, most have taken my comments into consideration. Covers can range from quite cheap to expensive.

Wait. We’re not finished. Who writes the blurb? That’s the short teaser on the back cover of a printed book to get the reader interested in buying. Often, that’s the job of the author, too. A publisher may change the blurb completely or simply tweak it, but the author has to provide an original and full blurb. The writer also has to submit a new story with a synopsis and usually needs to maintain a website. The author needs to promote, though if with a decent publisher the company will do at least of a portion of promoting, too. Some now request an entire marketing strategy, along with a manuscript. I’d be wary if the publisher asks for this with no sign of what they will do in return, but it is a part of modern-day publishing. A writer’s best ability is to be accomplished in marketing. Promotion shouldn’t be left entirely to the author, but any ‘wannabe’ needs to know they are expected to play their part. For the writer who envisages the romantic image of sitting at a desk tapping happily away, one work after the other, nothing could be further from the truth.

This still looks as if I’ve not answered why ebooks can cost as much to produce as print. One reason is the difference in those royalties, but we’re not talking millions made by the writer or publisher. Not these days. What this means in terms of actual money, I’ll cover another time, but in brief, an ebook goes through the same or similar process as most printed books. Only the final stage — the format it’s produced in — differs, and this can take ‘more effort’ because there are many types of files available now. Glitches can happen. Returns for errors create more work and cost.

As for whether to read ebooks… as much as choosing what book to read is about choice, so should selecting the format in which one wishes to read be an act of free-will. I’d be devastated to see print books disappear, but I like to own a collection of both if for no other reason than much-needed space. Something else to consider is that I made my decision to write for an e-publisher based on what I could see happening to the book market. Although erotic publishers were at the forefront and the mainstay of the e-publishing market for a long time, books face strong competition. Many people struggle to find the time to read. The way they produce ALL books has changing, with even large mainstream publishers turning to POD technology and electronic formats. I own the works of Poe both in print and ebook. When considering publishing, I decided not to turn my back on what might happen to the future of books. I could see many who sneer being taken by surprise. The author who turns their back on the idea of change could risk being left behind, and may miss out on some wonderful opportunities.

A Blast from the Past

It’s April 2007 and I’m watching Night at the Museum. Mickey Rooney is in the cast. I’m experiencing a blast from the past, but one of those synchronous moments, a weird coincidence. I’ve recently lost my father. The connection — as tenuous as it can be between people and families — has been severed. When grief is fresh, it’s often difficult to invoke a good recollection and, depending on the relationship, sometimes those are scarce. Seeing the thespian conjures a welcome memory.

Many years ago, I booked tickets to Sugar Babies at the Savoy Theatre in London; the performance starred Mickey Rooney and Anne Miller. At the last moment, I told the agent to add a ticket. I didn’t check with our friends whether they minded, or if my father was free. I took a spur-of-the-moment chance. Our friends didn’t mind, and I told him to make sure he was available. I did not tell him where he was going except to see a show.

Sugar Babies is a musical revue, a tribute to the era of burlesque. Some might have thought it strange that our age group wanted to attend, but many of us had grown up watching musicals airing on a Sunday afternoon. The production was as nostalgic for us as for someone of my father’s generation.

A fabulous evening was had by all, though if you were to ask me now to note the songs sang, or the skits performed, I couldn’t. I can remember the moment Mickey came onto the stage too soon, then had to stand pretending to be invisible until he could step in on cue, much to the entertainment of the other actors and the crowd. That Anne still had those fabulous shapely legs, which I rightly knew my father would enjoy viewing for real and not just on the television. That the saying not to work with children or animals, applies, at least when TV and stage are concerned: namely, a sketch where a woman had to stand covered in birds; the enactment went well except for the ‘little presents’ left on the floor, which created more laughter in a scene that should, and otherwise did, look beautiful.

We all had a wonderful night, but my father enjoyed himself most. He laughed his proverbial socks off and watching him laugh added to our amusement. I spent the evening sitting by his side while he chuckled, grinned, clapped, and whistled. He did these things to the point of embarrassing, was the last one to stop, the last person to leave his seat — wonderful! Not only do I have this recollection, he took pleasure in a marvelous evening during a hard working, stressful and, at times, painful life. My impulsive decision gave him enjoyment. For a few hours, he could set everything else aside.

This reveals a routinely overlooked truth: entertainment serves more than one purpose. A good book, a film, a play, music… Such things are part of our lives to a greater extent than we realise. The books I read as a child, many of which I still own, are friends, much as the people who remain a constant presence, and are as priceless. Not only do these things entertain, sometimes providing us with a much-needed escape, the moments they create shape our future, present, and our past.

The format doesn’t matter. What makes us laugh, gasp, cry, jump or stare in wonder — all these are markers, our companions along the way, part of the journey from birth unto death, and they form the blasts from the past that help our loved ones recall those happy moments once we are gone.

I owe a thank you to the creators, organisers, and performers for a precious memory…and to the writers, without whom such shared experiences would never happen.

Blog Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality

I’m a multi-genre author who has written several gay (m/m) romances, and one lesbian story in a polyamory fantasy series. I never intended to. Like many writers, I followed the nagging muse. I never considered the idea would lead to more titles, or that I would need to speak on the subject, to stand on any type of soapbox. A writer’s opinion, like anyone, is his or her own business; I sometimes write contrary to my beliefs, sometimes in keeping. I usually adhere to the golden rule of never discuss sex, religion, or politics. There’s always the exception. When invited to write for the blog hop — like with that first story — I let the words flow.

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Hop for Visibility, Awareness & Equality

Do follow the rest of the authors on the hop by clicking the link.

The gay people I’ve known have been much like anyone — wanting a home, a partner with whom to share their life, to have love. I believe one is born gay, that it’s not something someone chooses. I’m not sure I adhere to the Kinsey Scale (developed by Alfred Kinsey in 1948) to describe sexual orientation. Sexuality can be complex. I’m unsure any ‘scale’ can suffice. I’ve known gay men who have had good relationships with women but felt something emotional was missing. I’ve known gay men who find the thought distasteful. For some, sex with the opposite sex is as impossible as is (for some) sex with the same sex. Objections often seem to stem from personal dislike and/or religious doctrine. Both state and church have changed its opinions throughout history. Once, these institutions condoned slavery. Now they know better. History documents scripture as edited and censored, scribes ordered to excise whole (blacked-out) passages. Language no longer has the same meaning, leaving such teachings open to mistaken interpretation.


”The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. –
Mark Twain

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Regarding the current disagreement concerning the use of toilets for transgender people, I can see both sides. I appreciate and understand why women are afraid of mixed gender toilets, and won’t belittle the fears of any woman who may have been violated. I equally appreciate parents feeling uncomfortable. These concerns are genuine, but they are also lacking, not considering the subject on a broad enough basis.

“The grocery store is the great equalizer where mankind comes to grips with the facts of life like toilet tissue.”– Joseph Goldberg

I imagine many LGBT people live with the same fear of attack as that being discussed by heterosexuals may be as much, if not more, at risk. The feared situation already exists… for everyone. Sexual predators are already out there. A sign on the door will not keep such a person out, particularly if washrooms are isolated. Abusers bear no external markings. They wear no ‘badge of office’. They don’t don a certain uniform. A person likely to attack a child or a woman could be a next-door neighbour, be married with many offspring. Just like most heterosexuals aren’t offenders, LGBT people are not predatory. Predators come in all forms, genders, orientations, races, religions, economic levels, etc. Evil doesn’t differentiate, only people do.

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“It’s not hard to tell we was poor – when you saw the toilet paper dryin’ on the clothesline.” –George Lindsey

I’m speaking as someone who has a nephew with special needs. I rarely discuss my family, but my nephew was born with a brain tumour. He’s now an adult, but will always need protecting. At all stages of his life, when his mother has been out minus an adult male companion, she’s faced the unenviable decision of what to do if there is no available disabled toilet. Fortunately, there often is — these days more so than ever — but in some situations those cubicles are still separated: segregated within ‘male and female’ facilities. She has categorically not been allowed in most of the male toilets and when she has taken her son into the female toilets, even when he was younger and even though from his appearance it’s possible to deduce he has special needs, she’s faced aggressive abuse. And I mean aggressive. I’m not arguing for or against. I’m specifying that the situation many fear has existed for years; many have simply been unaware of it.

“Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.” –Lewis Mumford

The only correct solution would be individual cubicles. I don’t mean rooms containing banks of separate toilets, rather — as I recently experienced during a weekend away where I went to a spa — a bank of individual ‘rooms’ to be used by the abled and lesser-abled, by children and adults, by men and women, and all sexualities, where people could go in alone, or have a helper if necessary. These ‘rooms’ were not hidden away but situated where spa personnel could readily find out if they were being used inappropriately. Naturally, such a solution means money, so it won’t happen soon, if at all.

“Like when I’m in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I’m like ‘Wow! That’s toilet paper?’ I don’t know if we appreciate how much we have.” — Peter Nivio Zarlenga

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Some won’t like this idea either. People can be notoriously private about their toilet habits — a polite reserve I am sure must seem droll to many continental countries where I’ve seen an abundance of ‘squat’ toilets, restrooms that use different hygiene methods (with or without toilet paper), plumbing that cannot cope with any type of ‘wipe-clean’ material, where the cost varies. A woman in Yugoslavia once handed me a couple of sheets of paper for a few coins, the cost of which and meagre supply made me grateful I was only there to spend a proverbial penny. The French seldom have separate amenities. Open air public toilets usually designed only for men and definitely living up to the term ‘public’ is a fine and rather disgusting example of which I’ve seen in Bruges, but can be found in other parts of Europe. I heard even the UK city of Chester tested a form of these a couple of years ago. Attractive they were not.

“European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.” –Dave Barry

The subject of toilets can be comical, but safety is not a LGBT issue. Some will argue, but I can only speak from experience, and I see a sad fact in a sad world — personal safety is a problem we all share equally.

Giveaway: Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of one of my LGBT related books. Winner’s choice.

25 May 2016: And my winner is Chris McHart as chosen by Random.org. I’ll be in touch.

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