Category: Life in General

My life in general, off topic.

Wishing you a Peaceful 2021

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A strange year for all. One in which I started acupuncture (something I never imagined myself doing) to see whether it would help with a non-life-threatening but incurable complaint I was diagnosed with last year. Alas, owing to the Covid situation, I could not complete the first set of sessions, so still don’t know. And yes, despite what you may hear, sometimes acupuncture can hurt. Covid also interrupted a long planned holiday, especially two destinations we’ve been trying to get to and now may never reach. It’s also the year when a close relative had a serious health scare, but tests and months later they announced the all clear, so if I’ll take nothing else good from 2020, I will take that.

Towards the end of the year, I had to have an extraction owing to a wisdom tooth hooking under the tooth in front and killing the nerve. Unavoidable and didn’t go entirely to plan, but not as bad as I feared. Like most, we didn’t get out and about much this year. We’ve had a couple of distanced walks with our best friends, but aside from that have seen no one we know, including family.

I drafted several scenes for a ‘possible’ novel (yet to be confirmed/completed) and worked on an extremely rough draft of a first horror novel. I republished a romance, had a couple of short stories published in both the April and October editions of Night to Dawn magazine, plus republished my Sleepy Hollow poem, Ichabod, Ichabod, Ichabod, for the third time. I’m especially pleased to say I started drawing again, including learning how to sketch despite finding it scary drawing straight off in black ink. And I read more than my planned minimal quota of books!!! Here’s to better in 2021. Best wishes, everyone!

Update Dec 2020

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Hi Everyone!

AT HOME:

Though it would usually be our year at home, anyway, considering everything happening, we stayed in. If nothing else, we expected the long trip we would have to take becoming gridlock, and I did not cherish the thought of stopping in motorway services for a break. The shops heaving have been bad enough. Then, of course, the rules changed and we couldn’t have made such a long trip to relatives in a day. Have spent a long, relaxed, peaceful time at home together. The only downside has been the almost constant rain, gusting winds from storm Bella, and waking up to a smattering of snow, quickly melting.

FILM/TV:

I thoroughly recommend Netflix’s Night on Earth series. I have relatives no longer here who would have cried to view such outstanding photography. Also, the more you learn about the planet and the creatures we share this world with, the little you realise you know. For writers everywhere, strange and wonderful creatures don’t have to be alien. They are right here.

We started the Christmas watching rundown with Netflix’s Jingle Jangle, a fine example of the quality viewing the service provides and why it’s giving other filmmakers migraines. We followed this with both films in The Christmas Chronicles. And watched all our seasonal favourites, of course.

I picked up a cheap copy of How Green Was My Valley on Blu-ray and cannot recommend it enough in a cleaned-up version. It’s like never having seen it before and a story I cannot help but love. Have also been watching an old British television series, Life on Mars, about a man hit by a car catapulted into reality or his imagination back to the 70s. The series is full of nostalgia, both good and bad, especially a reminder of how sexist society was back then.

READING:

The Complete Tales of Edgar Allan Poe

I began The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe back in May 2019, an enormous book I’ve had awhile and, as I thought, it took me ages to get through. Very much a book I intended to dip in and out of over several months. Many hidden gems here, though I have to say the reason his most loved and best-known poem is The Raven shines out. The cadence and emotional response it invokes never ceases to impress. In the story section, the first touch of the true Poe I know came with his story, Berenice. The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether has to be one of the oddest tales in the book, aided by a modern day imagination. Once again, the reason his best-known works stand out becomes clear, for they are the most compelling. Yet if you think you know all there is to know about Poe in things macabre, think again. Some of his stories are light, even possibly satirical and intended to be humorous. It feels sacrilegious to give Poe less than 5 stars, but I have to be honest. Some work I adored, some I liked, and some I hated. As someone who has always been a great admirer of classics, even I struggled when the content failed to hold my attention. But there are many gems here, and one has to recognise Poe’s talent and influence, so I’m glad to have read through to pay homage to an amazing body of memorable work.

Dan Leno & The Limehouse Golem, Peter Ackroyd

I like how each chapter within the book jumps from one perspective to another, told in various styles. Alas, the parts that were far more tell than show made portions of the book less interesting, in particular because some information made me feel as though I was undergoing a lesson. I also feel having previously seen the film somewhat diminished my experience. Still, this is a wonderfully woven Victorian melodrama, perfectly historically blended. Both an excellent book and film, but not one needs to revisit.

The Other, Thomas Tryon

I’ve only read one other book by Thomas Tryon, many years ago, loved it, and still own. So I thought it way past the time I read another. I’d heard good things about The Other, and overall this is excellent. The trouble stems perhaps from the dated feeling of both the writing, setting, and how distanced a modern audience often is from subconscious scares. I wouldn’t categorise this as horror, though for those who like evil child stories, this undoubtedly deserves to be a classic. The construction that will meet with dislike from some was ingenious at the time it was written and remains good today. Most profoundly, a subtle unease exists within the pages that creeps into the mind. Unfortunately, the surprises didn’t feel all that big; again, perhaps because a modern audience is harder to shock.

Black Mad Wheel, Josh Malerman

While reading this, I didn’t feel I was reading horror, more a dark thriller, yet as I neared the end, I realised how insidious the horror is. This is a story of what happens to a man thrown in at the deep end, morally abandoned, and used. The novel reads as a multilayered allegory; much of Malerman’s work seems to. For me, this one perhaps tries to illuminate the futility of war. I couldn’t help a rather bleak thought at one point that the only way to stop war was to kill everyone. Readers who like crystal clear details and simple endings may find this writer’s work is not for them, but like poetry or a song, it leaves some details for self-interpretation. Still, the second part feels like no ‘part’ at all, and over too fast considering the tremendous buildup. Despite this, and some question left hanging, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins

One book that defies description. Though it has dark elements, it’s not listed as horror but as fantasy, but I cannot help feeling it’s all these things with a blend of an intellectual type of bizarro fiction. This is one book that acts as a lesson to writers everywhere, not to worry about reining in their imagination. Disbelief needs shelving. I couldn’t help feeling the opening section was almost designed to throw the reader off balance, though whether this was the author’s intention, it’s impossible to tell. The rest of the book is an easier, if peculiar, read, giving just enough away to hook the reader from beginning to end. For every revelation, there are bigger questions hanging over the story. Towards the end I felt the book (for me) was essentially about the pain of sacrifice (there’s a lot of pain throughout), though, like poetry is open to individual interpretation. I found it compelling and haunting despite being fantastical and confusing. This has to be one of the strangest books I’ve ever read, yet that’s why it’s amazing and completely unforgettable.

WRITING:

I came across a wonderful comment praising the Lethbridge-Stewart series of novels, and mentioning that my book, The Shadowman, evoked powerful emotions in one reader. Stunned me, frankly. A multi-authored series is hard work but lovely as ever to hear some readers find the effort worthwhile.

I’ve been doing some relaxed editing to release an older work, editing that’s turned mostly into rewriting. Sometimes it’s a shock to realise how much you’ve improved.

Stay happy and healthy!

Sharon x

Merry Christmas, Everyone

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I planned to post a different video today, but can’t seem to find the one I want. This takes me back to one of the happiest times in my life, so love this or hate it, at this dreadful time when most everyone’s Christmas plans have been thrown into chaos, try to appreciate what you can. Call loved ones. Stay safe. Watch your favourite cheesy Christmas movie if you have one. Or ignore everything there is about Christmas, if that’s what you like. Most of all, try to find a little happiness in whatever you do and may you remain healthy.

Geode Girl Art

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I rarely showcase or recommend something I’ve bought, but I’m blown away by the work created by Geode Girl, an artist living in London. She creates fabulous pieces inspired by nature, using resin and crystals. This decorative and useful selection of art is more amazing in reality than photos can do justice.

I’m equally taken by her seascape pieces as the geodes, and in time hope to own a piece of both, though I simply could not resist opting for the black seascape tray.

Each item will be unique, as is a feature of the process. I’m delighted by the way my ‘waves’ turned out.

Note: I waited patiently for several weeks for this made to order item, though to be fair, I explained I was in no hurry, but had I needed to wait longer I would say it’s worth doing so — these items take time to create and to cure between layers, so keep that in mind when ordering and allow the artist time to create what is surely a prized possession. But if you’re looking for a delightful personal treat or a unique gift, I struggle to imagine anyone who could be displeased with something from Geode Girl’s collection.

Visit: https://www.geodegirlart.com/

Conscious Sedation… A True Oxymoron?

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I recently needed an extraction owing to a pesky wisdom tooth hooking under the tooth in front and killing the nerve. Judging by my last recollection of an extraction where the dentist tore my gums, I suffered extensive bleeding, agony which painkillers barely touched, and a month to heal a mouth full of ulcers, I gave Conscious Sedation a try. This is also apparently the only form of sedation a dentist outside of a hospital may administer these days, and, should I ever need the wisdom tooth out, I’m forewarned it will be ‘a bit of a bugger’. So… I chose Conscious Sedation to dampen my dread, and to test how well this works.

First, credit where it’s due. I’m grateful for the care provided by the dentist and all the staff with sincere gratitude for their understanding, and for working and offering treatment in these Covid times. The extraction was professional and nowhere near as bad as I feared. Was, in fact, nothing like my previous dental experiences; this time there was little bleeding and I’ve managed the post-extraction discomfort with no problem. Within 5 days, I was off the painkillers. Though I hate to say it, this is either the difference between private and NHS dentists, this being my first experience of paying privately (with pain radiating up into my cheekbone and round to my teeth on the other side, I had no choice but to do whatever I could to hurry an appointment along), or simple potluck in trying to find a good dentist.

Unfortunately, the Conscious Sedation didn’t work. Let me repeat: The Conscious Sedation DIDN’T WORK.

I had been told ‘if aware I wouldn’t care’ and ‘I wouldn’t remember’. I thought I would have at least felt drowsy or as though I was in ‘happy land’, but I didn’t even feel relaxed. I kept thinking, ‘When is this stuff supposed to kick in?’ Then the ultrasonic cleaning began (which I had also agreed to), and I thought maybe by the time this finishes, but I still felt no different. I recall being asked if I was okay several times, to which I felt confused and wasn’t sure what to say. I was ‘okay’ but nowhere near relaxed. In retrospect, I can’t help feeling the sedation influenced my agreement. Several times I argued with myself over saying something vs just getting it over with.

Next thing I knew, I was receiving injections and silently started swearing. I was, after all, not meant to ‘care’ by this point, and had paid £250 (£720, including the assessment and all the subsequent work) for the privilege. I was nowhere close to ‘unaware’. At the time of the extraction, I recall being asked if all I could feel was pressure, and saying no, I felt a little more than pressure at which point I received another 1 or 2 injections (while wishing I’d metaphorically kept my mouth shut to avoid them). Then the incredible alternating left/right pressure of the extraction and finally hearing, “That’s all done.”

I recall them bringing my husband into the room (with sedation someone has to take responsibility for you) and everything said. When I said I felt a bit ‘out of it’, the dentist remarked, “Like having a G&T.” I would frankly have preferred the G&T. I only felt as if I’d gone too many hours without sleep. I can’t help thinking all Conscious Sedation does to some people is to get them to cooperate and then they’re supposed to go home and sleep, whereby they forget everything. But I didn’t sleep. I spent several days struggling with insomnia. I returned home and dozed in the afternoon for 10 minutes during a 30 minute programme, of which I missed the middle. After going to bed that evening, I woke at 2am through to 4am. The next night I woke at 3:45. The following night I couldn’t sleep until 1am, though I’d not slept during the day.

I have spoken to others since, for which it both did and didn’t work, so I’m not alone. At least I’m now forewarned not to accept this form of sedation again, though that leaves me with a potential predicament should I ever need major/painful work. I certainly wouldn’t look forward to a root canal or that predicted problematic wisdom tooth removal. It’s since been suggested to me they design these drugs to trick the mind, so it’s possible I’d be someone not easily hypnotised.

Even worse, it appears Conscious Sedation is gaining popularity in all medical circles with it being used for surgeries. And though statistically, it’s a tiny percentage of people for whom it doesn’t work, it’s not foolproof. After some research, this quote stands out: “With Conscious Sedation, I think physicians recognize that quite a lot of the time their patients will actually be distressed, but they’re relying on the fact that most are not going to remember it…”

I don’t know about you, the one reading this, but I dislike the idea of patients being distressed but that being ‘okay’ because the patient won’t remember. They’re also looking into whether patients may subsequently suffer PTSD complicated by the fact they won’t know the reason for it. Patients at least need to make a truly informed decision.

Update Oct 2020

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Hi Everyone!
AT HOME:
I didn’t blog last week, too involved with a major sort out and tidy up in the house and the garage. I think this was in part to take my mind off things, but it also proved more exhausting than expected. It’s what comes of climbing up and down steps and lugging boxes around. The garage also has some pretty enormous spiders.

Not much in the way of walks to report and now we’re all in for another lockdown.

FILM/TV:
Been watching a few comedy series, and some horror films for October. Bit of juxtaposition, but suited my mood. Tried the BBC series, Ghosts, and am in two minds. Quite dry humour, with a childish bent. The series really interested me because it’s so similar to something I wrote as a child. Of course, the characters and outcomes were different. My writing wouldn’t have been up to scratch, and I never completed it, but the inherited house full of ghosts and only the woman can see them was so my idea. I remember writing it in an old school textbook.

Though it received a love/loathe response from many, I enjoyed The Haunting of Bly Manor on Netflix, not that I didn’t have issues with it. Not truly scary, it’s mostly a bittersweet love story. I had problems with at least one plot point (spoiler alert), namely what happened to the ghost that the principal character took with her? He served a purpose to give her a reason for taking the job, trying to start anew, and to let us know she could see ghosts, but then he vanished from the story to serve no other purpose. At one point, I thought he might have helped save her from one of the other ghosts, but the creators completely overlooked this possibility.

READING:
Lovecraft Country, Matt Ruff
I love books that blend genres surprisingly. With richly portrayed characters and a real feel of both fantastical magic, and the more frightening and bitter horror of racism, the historical setting adds an uneasy depth that’s all too realistic. My one criticism is that I felt a little detached from the true cruelty of the era, and would have liked more emotional insight into the characters’ feelings; saying that, it’s all too easy to fill in the blanks. The book is easy to read in a series of individual but linked stories with a noir pulp feel running through them. (Side note: the book is not the same as the series, with a subtle tone down of the magic and mayhem, and with less blatant sex.)

The Witcher: The Lady of the Lake, Andrzej Sapkowski
As this is the last of an 8 book read I committed to, I was looking forward to this. Felt a little disappointed at the start. Ironically, one character close to the start of the book states she doesn’t like legends that mix fables with reality. While we can hardly quote tales of King Arthur as reality, they are of our world, and I’ve always preferred The Witcher to exist completely apart, not linked to famous myths and legends as we know them. The book also felt somewhat padded, but there are plenty of personal stories, and fabulous, bitter and sweet endings. Without spoilers, the most I can say is the conclusion felt a little nebulous, but the story of Ciri, Yennifer, and Gerait is a journey worth travelling.

Disappearance at Devils Rock, Paul Tremblay
An author who writes in his own style and created his own genre, bridging the supernatural and real life paranoia. Horror? I’m not sure I would categorise his novels in that genre, but horror covers such a wide spectrum these days. Sometimes his work has a Young Adult flavour, but then, as many of his characters are teens or children, this is fine. This novel sums up a mother’s terror over her missing child well, yet the true horror here comes from the way Tremblay captures the flavour of social media, and journalism, the criticism and blame aimed at victims.

Relics, Tim Lebbon
I’m a little torn with this book. On the one hand, I love the human characters, Angela, Vince, even Fat Frederick, but when this seeming thriller becomes supernatural, the reader must completely suspend belief to accept the magical world surviving in the shadows around London. Unfortunately, I think other writers have done that better, which isn’t to lessen this book. It’s urban fantasy with believable characters, an array of villains, and a sometimes blurred line between good and evil. I enjoyed the read, but I did not realise this was a series and I’m uncertain it’s hooked me enough to continue.

The Troop, Nick Cutter
I would have finished this book sooner had time allowed; I didn’t want to put it down. At first, I wasn’t sure of the narrative. Being that the plot involved teenage boys, much of the tone expressed that initially, but then as things progressed, so did the style grow more lyrical and tighter, edging along the sense of well-constructed doom. Scary? Yes, owing to the subject alone, the sense that one day this or similar could happen under humankind’s egotistical restructuring of the natural world. This is an amazing book. I’ve seen negative reviews and understand the dislike of animal abuse portrayed, but sometimes it’s necessary to reflect reality. Even then, the story is painfully sad, making the reader feel for these boys. Other negatives, I don’t understand as there’s little point moaning about extremes when reading horror, as long as it fits the story without being gratuitous. The various personalities build a rich tapestry of human nature, good and bad. For me, the book ends on a perfect note.

WRITING:
I’m in the last quarter of the draft for my horror novel. Not that I’m anywhere near finished. I’ve been getting many more ideas I want to incorporate, and it won’t surprise me if the book ends up being longer than I expected. This book is important to me and I won’t rush it just to get it done, but I will shelve it and work on something else next, likely around the end of the year.

Stay happy and healthy!
Sharon x